FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT PARENTING COORDINATION

Q: DO ALL SEPARATED PARENTS NEED A PARENTING COORDINATOR?

A: The answer is “no”. The vast majority of separated parents work more or less cooperatively on co-parenting their children. They may benefit from parenting mediation from time to time, when issues they cannot agree on arise, but in the normal course they do not need the ongoing involvement of a professional to assist them with recurring conflict.

Parenting Coordination is meant for parents who experience repeated, protracted, actute conflict and have difficulties with the ongoing implementation and management of their parenting arrangements (that are already in place).

Q: WHAT EXACTLY IS PARENTING COORDINATION?

A: Parenting Coordination is a post-separation process designed to assist parents who have longer-term and higher-level difficulties in co-parenting to resolve disputes arising out of their roles as parents. This modality of family dispute resolution (FDR) involves a professional who works with the co-parents long-term - as an educator, case-manager, liaison, mediator and, if needed, arbitrator. The Parenting Coordinator (PC) works to assist the parents with day-to-day disagreements around parenting, including through education and mediation. If the parents cannot come to an agreement on an issue, the PC makes a binding and enforceable decision for them (arbitrates the issue). *

Parenting Coordination differs from classic parenting mediation in two important respects:

1. While a parenting mediator usually deals with a discrete, pre-defined set of parenting issues like the negotiation of a parenting plan, for example, a PC is on “stand-by” to deal with ongoing parenting issues, as they arise. For this reason, the term of a PC’s involvement with a family can be as long as 24 months, or even longer if the parents agree.

2. Parenting Coordination is a “secondary arbitration”. This means that it is a process that relates to, and arises out of, an already-existing parenting arrangement - in the form of a parenting plan, separation agreement or a court order, for example. PCs do not negotiate a parenting plan in the first instance - they interpret and implement an already-existing arrangement. Importantly, they have the function of decision-maker (as arbitrators) for issues that parents clearly define in advance, and which are permitted by law.

   *but there are specific parenting issues on which the PC has no jurisdiction to intervene - read further below.

Q: WHAT TYPES OF DECISIONS CAN THE PC MAKE FOR PARENTS?

A: The range of decisions a PC can make for parents, as arbitrator, is called the PCs “jurisdiction”. Parents who engage the services of a PC make a very specific and clearly defined selection of issues in their PC’s jurisdiction. They do that in their PC Agreement. These are generally decisions related to the bread-and-butter of daily parenting - for example, scheduling of holidays, accomodating special events, make-up time, communication, transfer of children’s clothing and possessions, attendance at children’s events, etc.

PCs cannot decide on, or alter existing arrangements for, parents’ decision-making responsiblity (formerly called “custody”), and substantial changes to parenting time (formerly called “access”). They are not permitted to make such decisions by law.

Q: “DO I NEED A LAWYER TO PARTICIPATE IN PARENTING COORDINATION?”

A: The answer is both “yes” and “no”.

Involving a PC in your case is a substantial investment of both time and money. Sometimes, given the level of parental conflict, that is the only realistic option available but it is still a decision that requires forethought and careful consideration. Involving a PC in your case has both short-term and long-term consequences ~ ones you should discuss with your lawyer. Your choice of a PC is also important because he/she will potentially be making binding arbitration decision on various issues arising out of your parenting arrangements. Again, having a legal representative to advise you on these important issues is vital.

We strongly encourage parents who are considering Parenting Coordination to obtain independent legal advice about the process, and its consequences, from a family law lawyer. While Parenting Coordination is more commonly used today than it was 10 years ago, not every lawyer is familiar with its unique complexities. You should consider consulting or retaining a lawyer who has experience with this modality of dispute resolution.

Once the PC is in place, the ongoing involvement of a lawyer is not, strictly-speaking required, hence the “no” part of the answer above. Sometimes parents involve lawyers in the decision-making part of the process - having empowered the PC to make a decision about an issue they cannot agree on. For example, that lawyer can help a parent put together their submissions for the arbitration (evidence and/or argument).

Q: HOW LONG WILL THE PARENTING COORDINATION TAKE?

A: That depends on the term of service in a particular case - something the parents must agree on and confirm in their PC Agreement. Most PCs work with two co-parents for at least a year but longer terms are possible. The frequency and intensity of the PCs actual involvement depends on the level of conflict, and the number of issues that have to be addressed. Importantly, there is a strong and ongoing element of education in the process - the PC works with the parents to help them disengage, and become more effective over time as co-parents to their children.

Q: “IF I FIND A PARENTING COORDINATOR AND THE OTHER PARENT AGREES, CAN WE JUST NAME THAT PERSON IN OUR PARENTING PLAN OR SEPARATION AGREEMENT, FOR FUTURE DISPUTES?”

A: The answer is “no”. Parenting Coordination is a complex and impacftul process and for this reason, before agreeing to become involved, a PC will need to take a series of pre-screening and then screening steps, before the service contract is signed. Based on a series of criteria, the PC will need to decide whether the parents themselves, and the nature of their conflict, are suitable for Parenting Coordination or whether, for example, the ongoing involvement of family court is more appropriate for particular parents and their disputes. Put differently, a PC does not become automatically involved in a case when named by the parents (even if they are represented by lawyers).

Q: WHAT IS “Mettā”?

A: “Mettā” in Pali (or “Maitri” in Sanskrit) means loving-kindness, good will, amity, interest in the well-being of others. All those words and phrases describe my approach to Parenting Coordination.